Warding off Criminals with
Your short term Insurance Policy Papers
I had always heard that short term
car insurance (available from this wonderful
UK site) could help in
case my car was ever vandalized, stolen, or otherwise hijacked, but I
had no idea just how much, exactly, and to what extent.
It was a muggy Friday night and I was drunk, as usual. Only this time, I
wasnít just drunk, I was too drunk to realize I was drunk. Assuring my
friends that I wouldnít end up in a ditch before I drove the twelve
miles to my house down the street, I stumbled to my ride, fell into the
driverís seat, and cranked up the tunes. I like to jam out when I drive
drunk, for optimal distraction and my own little personal karaoke party.
Imagine my surprise when the CD skipped back to the beginning and I
wasnít home yet. How could I possibly have listened to fourteen tracks
and still not have made it the twelve miles home? Is that like, a track
per mile? Divide by twelve, carry the one? Never mind; now was not the
time for math. Putting elementary division aside, I tried to place my
surroundings. Wherever I had wound up, I suddenly regretted
procrastinating in applying for my Conceal and Carry permit.
Ok, donít panic. Just pull over to the first gas station you see, find
out where you are, and get directions to the next major highway. You can
find your way home from there.
Pulling into a gas station conveniently located next to a cheerful
looking crack house with broken windows smiling back at me, I cautiously
stepped onto the pavement, hoping I didnít look as drunk as I probably
was. The man behind the counter explained to me that I was clear on the
other side of town, roughly 45 miles away from my house and was kind
enough to scrawl some directions. Assured, and feeling like I would
certainly be home in no time now, I practically skipped to my car with
the joy of being cured from my present situation.
Sitting down behind the wheel, I breathed a sigh of relief and looked to
my right. You have got to be fracking kidding me. There in my glove box,
sitting lonely and forsaken was my GPS. In my drunken state I had
entirely forgotten the Christmas present I had shoved in the compartment
for situations just such as these. A bit frustrated I opened the glove
box and looked to my right. SMACK! I screamed. Someone was at the
window with personal firearm in hand, and demanded I get out of the car
NOW! Thinking quickly, I grabbed everything in the glove box, searching
for a weapon and before I could think, fling! went my short term
insurance policy papers.
All was quiet for a moment that felt like an eternity. I peeked out the
window and saw my assailant lying on the street, slowing dying of blood
loss from a major paper cut to the coronary. Needless to say, having
been drinking and just killed a guy, I punched the gas and got the heck
out of there.
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